Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

On a recent family trip to Blue Ridge, Georgia, I actually saw a chicken cross the road. I was laughing so hard and the road was so narrow that by the time I recovered enough to think about taking a picture of the classic kid’s joke happening right in front of us, the chicken was already to the other side and hanging out with his fowl friends.

These chickens appear to be just beginning their journey. They seem to be running away from the restaurant, which makes sense, but considering they have to cross a busy six-lane road in Jacksonville, Florida, their odds don’t look very good.

BeachRdChickenDinnersJacksonvilleFL

 

What’s the worst “chicken crossing the road” joke you’ve heard? Leave it in the comments so we can all groan along with you!

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Clean as a… Dog?

When I think of really clean things, I think of Monk’s apartment. The inside of a brand-new car. Most IKEA furniture designs. I do not think of dogs. Whoever designed this sign did, though. To be specific, a Scotty dog wearing a tam and holding car wash equipment.

SudsMcKleenAutoWashJacksonvilleBeachFL

If you happen to be in Jacksonville Beach and want your car clean as a… dog(???), then stop by and get Suds McKleen (seriously, that’s the name in tiny letters right under the soap bubbles) to tackle the job.

 

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Wearing Your Sunday Best

Kymberlee sent this picture of a t-shirt her husband owns from Pratt’s BBQ in Kingsport, TN. She reports that he’s worn the shirt to religious services at least twice. I think it’s safe to assume he’s not Jewish or Muslim.

Baby got back

Baby got back

While this shirt is a good look, these slippers would really complete the outfit. Possible Christmas present, Kymberlee?

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Steppin’ Out With My Baby…

It has been quite a week here. I’d love to have a relaxing night out on the town with a suave, sophisticated gentleman. You know someone, you say? You have a picture of him? Great!

WildBeaverSaloonNashville

Well. Hmm. I appreciate the suggestion, Valerie, but I have a feeling this, um, fine fellow from Nashville isn’t quite my type. I’ll just brew some tea and watch “Cops” on cable tonight instead.

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Need a New Catchphrase?

Today’s picture comes from Alysia, who snapped it at a food court while on vacation in Togichi, Japan.

OctopusBallsTochigiJapan

Alysia said that this particular shop sells octopus balls–NOT testicles, she was quick to clarify, but instead something  like a hush puppy with pieces of octopus meat inside. While I was relieved to learn that no part of an octopus’s reproductive system is involved in the making of octopus balls, I did have a giggle (or three) at the phrase “octopus balls.” I think it’d make a great catchphrase. Disappointed that the Jacksonville Jaguars/Montreal Canadiens/Atlanta Braves lost again? “Oh, octopus balls!” Excited that Lego is selling a Back to the Future Delorean time machine kit? “Great octopus balls!” It’s an all-purpose phrase that is sure to make your life easier, or at least more entertaining!

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Porcine Paraphernalia

Folks, there are only 127 more days until Christmas. Panic time! Or it would be if you weren’t reading this, because Swine Signs is happy to make some gift suggestions for those special people in your life. First up: these rustically cute guys, which Pigporter Anne spotted at the Smoke on the Mountain Festival in Galax, Virginia:

Love me, love my piglets.

Love me, love my piglets.

Or maybe you’re searching for a present that is practical as well as pig-tastic. How about this cooker, available at this year’s Williamson County, Tennessee, fair?PigCookerWilliamsonCountyFair2013

The pig even has eyelashes! (Sent in by Smokin’ Summer–thanks!)

While both of these would certainly appeal to some people, for the truly discriminating individuals on your list, an item with a sophisticated aura is probably your best bet. Imagine placing a gift in front of someone and saying, “Oh, it’s just a little something I ordered for you from England.”

GloucestershireEnglandB

Swine-loving Sandy saw these lawn ornaments for sale while on holiday in Gloucestershire, England earlier this summer. She reported that she wanted to buy the spotted pig in front because she liked his collar, but for some crazy reason her husband thought it wouldn’t go well with the mezuzah in their home’s front window. I personally love how someone has so thoughtfully provided an umbrella for the animals.

By the way, the original photo Sandy sent in looks so charming that I have to share it.

GloucestershireEnglandAI want to own the space next to the shop and open a yarn store and stand at the window with a cup of Earl Grey in one hand and a blueberry scone in the other and watch the snow fall on a winter afternoon. Instead, I’ll crank the a/c down, grab a glass of iced tea, and daydream about that elusive thing called “cooler weather.” Maybe I’ll even play my Julie Andrews Christmas album on the record player: after all, the holidays are practically around the corner!

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The Power of the Pig

Apparently, barbecue by Due South Pit Cooked BBQ in Christiansburg, VA is a moving experience–at least when it’s brought in their catering van.

DueSouthBBQChristiansburgVACloseUp

Here’s a view of the side, so you can fully appreciate the pig-van’s ears and the logo:

DueSouthBBQChristiansburgVA

I have a feeling that the pig-van and the Catbus from My Neighbor Totoro could be good friends.

catbus

Blog buddies Anne and Chris submitted the pics. Visit Due South’s website here, and if you’re in Christiansburg anytime soon, check them out and take some pics of the inside: I have a feeling it’s just as quirky as the pig-van!

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Does This Sign Make My Butt Look Big?

I just can’t tell, you know? What do you think? Is this a good look or no?

Can you tell I've been working out?

Can you tell I’ve been working out?

Perpetual Porcine Pal Katie sent in this one from Alabaster, AL. In case you can’t make out the tag line, it says, “Delicious Between Buns.” I’ll just take the sign’s word for it.

Shark Week Reality

Oh, the Discovery Channel. They used to be known for broadcasting shows that actually educated people about subjects of importance, much like the History Channel used to do back in the day. Now, however, these formerly venerable cable channels are the proud homes of fake documentary programs about mermaids, the megaladon, and Mayan aliens. The sharks in today’s post, however, are real. Well, as real as sharks made of fiberglass can be.

This first sign is from Aqua-Reporter Andrea and can be found in Tuscaloosa, Alabama. This sign can be read in a couple of different ways. Either the place serves sharks, fish, and chicken, but it’s missing the comma; it belongs to someone named Shark, but it’s missing the apostrophe; or it’s trying to notify sharks that the restaurant serves them fish and chicken, but it’s missing the colon.

Excuse me, I think you left your punctuation at home today.

Excuse me, but I think you left your punctuation at home.

Our second sign comes from Katie, who received the picture from her cousin Colleen in California. (That lovely alliteration makes my word-nerd heart happy.) This beauty is apparently at Raging Waters Amusement Park in California.

Hello there!

Hello there!

As Katie points out, this guy bears a striking resemblance to someone from the movies. I wonder if anyone has notified the Mouse’s legal team about that coincidence?

BruceFindingNemo

Let’s all say it together: “I am a nice shark, not a mindless eating machine. If I am to change this image, I must first change myself. Fish are friends, not food.”

Have a great weekend, and remember to just keep swimming!

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