You’re not from around here, are you?

On a recent trip to Kissimmee, I stumbled across this crustacean. Husband knows by now that it’s easier to just let me take my pictures of funny signs rather than to try to convince me “we’ll come back by later, I promise,” because later never happens.

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I can’t imagine that this lobster-mobile is street legal, but I got some good laughs imagining it driving down the road:

You’re at a stop light. The light turns green. You don’t push the gas pedal quickly enough to suit the car behind you. You look in your rear-view mirror to see what kind of impatient person honks the second the light turns–and that’s when you realize you’re not looking at a person at all…

 

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Sweet Nickname

Since it’s Valentine’s Day, you might be looking for a nickname for your sweetheart. I have the perfect suggestion.

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Sugarboo! It’s perfect. It has sweetness at the beginning and then a bit of Southerness at the end. I can just hear Dixie Carter saying it, can’t you?

Thanks to Polly for this pic!

Now that’s what I call fine quality BBQ

When you think of “fine quality bbq,” what image pops into your head? It’s a pig wearing a green hat and holding a rack of ribs, isn’t it? I knew it!

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I think we need a close-up shot of this fine fellow.

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Randy’s Rib Shack is in Waldo, Florida, which is on the way to Gainesville if you’re coming from the north part of Florida.

Swineless Sunday: Arnold’s

If you’re heading from Jacksonville, Florida to St. Augustine by way of U.S. 1 (which I highly recommend, by the way, as it’s more interesting than taking I-95 and you get a glimpse of “old Florida”), you’ll pass Arnold’s Lounge on your left just before you get into town.

"It's got a good beat and you can dance to it!"

“It’s got a good beat and you can dance to it!”

 

I love this sign. When I see it I immediately think of things like “American Bandstand” and doing the Watusi. Not that I’ve ever done the Watusi. But after watching this YouTube video of it, I think it’s a dance even I could manage to perform at least halfway correctly. Now I’m in the mood to watch “Hairspray” (the original, not the remake: John Travolta isn’t fit to tie Divine’s shoes, if Divine was still alive, that is). “They put me in special education just because of my hair!” Great stuff, y’all.

 

To submit your own Swine Sign, click on the “About” tab above!

 

Beefy King

What does a vegan do on her way to the Central Florida Veg Fest? Stop and take a picture of this stunning sign, of course.

Because "Lord Lardmore" just didn't sound right.

Because “Lord Lardmore” just didn’t sound right.

 

Beefy King serves steamed sandwiches. It’s located off North Bumby Avenue in Orlando, Florida, right near Orlando Festival Park and across the street from another place that I’ll be posting about soon. The more I look at this sign, the more I love it. I think my favorite part is the breath/steam/anger coming out of his nostrils.

 

To submit your own Swine Sign, click on the “About” tab above!

Daytona Pig Stand

Y’ALL. I can’t EVEN. Words escape me.

DaytonaPigStand6IT’S A GIANT BBQ ROASTER THING.

DaytonaPigStand5ON WHEELS.

DaytonaPigStand1And a scary-looking hog. ON A HOG.

I stopped at Daytona Pig Stand (“Home of the Pork Chopper”!) to take these pics on my way back from Orlando, where I went to the Central Florida Veg Fest. Go ahead and laugh: you’ll feel better. (I had a great time, by the way–I got to snuggle the world’s cutest, softest, cuddliest bunny from the Gainesville Rabbit Rescue, eat some great vegan food, and meet some other great animal rescue, humanitarian, and veg organizations.)

To submit your own Swine Sign, click on the “About” tab above!

Swineless Sunday: I’ll Bring the Cream Cheese!

Andrea sent the pics of this carb-loaded character from St. Pete Bagel Co. in St. Petersburg, FL.

Grains are good!

Grains are good!

 

And inside:

Give me the grains!

Give me the grains!

 

Finally, a joke to end your weekend. What do vegetarian zombies eat? Graaaaaains!

 

To submit your own Swine Sign, click on the “About” tab above!

T-Riffic Tuesday

Today’s sign, which is in Jacksonville, FL, may seem odd at first. Why would someone name a food mart after a dinosaur? Is the owner a Jurassic Park fan? (“Mr. Hammond, after careful consideration, I’ve decided NOT to endorse your park!”)

It's well stocked. Just don't ask them to help you get any items off the top shelves.

It’s well stocked. Just don’t ask them to help you get any items off the top shelves.

The name makes more sense when you know where the store is located, though. This fellow is hanging out in front of the row of stores.

Look into my glowing red eyes...

Look into my glowing red eyes…

I read here that the dino used to guard a mini golf place, but when it went out of business he spent a few years just hanging out before being moved to the shopping center on Beach Boulevard and inspiring the food mart’s name. For his age (70 million years, give or take a few million), he looks pretty good, but I think a new paint job will soon be in order. What color combos would you suggest? Tell us in the comments!

To submit your own Swine Sign, click on the “About” tab above!

Swineless Sunday

Happy Labor Day weekend! Let’s celebrate by enjoying this mural outside an Asian market in Jacksonville, FL. No animals in this one: just cheerful, thumbs-up veggies and fruits. Any idea what the veggie on the right is in this first pic? Husband says daikon, I say ginger.

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This second pic should give you an idea of how large the mural actually is: at least five cars wide.

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Does anyone have a guess as to what the prickly green thing is? It looks too round to be a durian (but then again, these are grinning cartoon produce so I suppose I can’t expect too much in the way of realism).

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A close-up of the left side of the mural. I love that the bean is showing off his muscles. Plant protein power, baby!

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If you have any pics of signs that don’t feature animals but that are still blog-worthy in some way, send them to me! I’d love to make “Swineless Sunday” a more regular feature!

To submit your own Swine Sign, click on the “About” tab above!